remembering

Some stuff has happened over the past few days, that has made me think a lot, back to my pregnancy, Gaby's arrival, and the early days of her life.

I still find myself crying, when I think about her arrival, and the whole process. The attempted induction, deciding to have a c/s, losing my plug, my waters breaking, the prostin pains, waiting to go in for my c/s, being in theatre, the c/s, hearing that Gaby had been born, hearing her cry for the first time, seeing her for the first time, Stu holding her, my first hold, the 4 hours in recovery, Mum coming in & meeting Gaby for the first time, everyone meeting her for the first time... Even as I write this I am crying because of those memories.

It was such an amazing time of my life, and such a momentous occasion. I don't think anything can EVER compare to that - probably not even my future children's births. OF COURSE I am going to be moved by my future children's arrivals, and I'm going to do the same crying, my heart is going to grow just as it did with Gaby - but it's going to be a little different, because it won't be my first child's birth. I cannot wait to go through it all again - to go through the excitement & let down & final joy of TTC (trying to conceive), the anxiety & excitement of pregnancy, the anxiety and total, pure, utter joy of giving birth & seeing my baby for the first time.