roll over, roll over

at 6.05pm last night (26/03/07) on the night of her 5 month birthday - GABY ROLLED OVER! Back to front! GOOOOOOOO GABY! I guess the next big milestone will either be crawling, or the arrival of a little toothy peg! Stacey saw her rolling over, so that was pretty cool!

I took Gaby for her 5 month injections today, and it's fair to say that she wasn't impressed! She screamed and screamed and screamed, but luckily by the time we were ready to leave she was sleeping soundly! I got her weighed and she is now 7950g/17lb8oz! I can't believe that she's put on close to a pound in the space of about 2 weeks!!!! Amazing.

... then again, amazing, that is pretty much the one word i'd use to sum up Gaby

toooo cute!

Gaby has gotten even cuter over the last few days, and she's started making new 'talking' noises - I almost hate putting her to bed, because it means i'll miss out on 90-120 minutes of cuteness!

She hasn't rolled from her tummy to back for a few days now - although I bet she does it when I'm not looking! LOL. She will be 5 months old tomorrow, I can't believe how fast time flies. My baby girl is no longer my baby girl - she's turning into a child...

We went down to Ashburton to visit Mel & Ryan on Friday - the little guy is so adorable! And when I say little, I mean little! Well, in comparison to Gaby anyway! Mel seems to be doing really well, and seeing her has taken me back to when Gaby was a newborn... times have changed so much since then!!!! Admittedly seeing Ryan - and seeing Mel with her brand new baby, made me a bit clucky for number 2. Although there isn't anything I can do about that without a man or a long term, committed relationship!

Each day that passes, my love for my precious little baby grows - I didn't think it was possible to love someone this much - let alone even more!!!!

I'm quite smitten really - all I need in this world is my family & my Gaby

nothing cuter than

When I go in to check Gaby & she is only just awake, so I put her dummy back in & her eyes roll back in her head & slowly the eyelids close.... and 1 second later she's back in the land of nod.

Although, there is nothing cuter than Gaby in general! Haha, do you think I'm a tad biassed??? NEVER!

Gabs is sleeping really well today, thank goodness - total opposite from what she was at this time yesterday! I just want to cuddle her & kiss her when she's sleeping so peacefully, she looks so blissed out, and innocent

innocence is a child sleeping

why can't I cope sometimes?

why can’t I cope sometimes?Yesterday - Gaby crying resulted in me cuddling her, and kissing her, telling her it'd be okay, humming lullabies, rocking her to sleep.

Result - me feeling like a wonderful Mum

Today - Gaby results in me getting angry, in me saying things I don't mean, in me crying more than she does, in me wondering where the hell her father is so I don't have to do this alone.

Result - me feeling like the worse Mum in the world, and like I don't even deserve Gaby

Where is Stu for that matter? Why can't he be here when things are going bad, when I'm losing the plot & Gaby is losing the plot? A few minutes to take a break & regain my composure is all that I ask. He can't even do that though. I would be well & truly fucked if it wasn't for my parents and Terri.

It's just weird how on certain days I can cope, don't give it a second thought - but other days (admittedly rarely!) I can't cope, and I feel like I'm going to lose control. What makes the days so different? I'm happy today - yet i'm still not feeling very in control of things? I can be really angry with someone/something - but can cope easy.

Maybe because she's been so good lately, I am finding it a bit more testing now that she's having a 'bad' day. I know that it is the reflux that is making her grumpy - but i just don't know how to deal with it? Besides giving her her medicine, keeping her upright, burping her, there isn't anything else i can do to help the reflux! I can't NOT feed her, for obvious reasons... I do the usual checks, temperature, nappy, hungry.... but sometimes, nothing will work.

I would NEVER EVER EVER even contemplate hurting Gaby, if things were going to get that bad, i'd be checking myself into hospital! But sometimes when she's in bed, I will throw things around, or scream..... however after that I usually feel better, and generally have a cry & go in and say sorry to Gaby in her cot....

.... and then thankfully, usually after that we'll have another 3 weeks or so of Mummy coping well...

LOL maybe it'd be a bit easier if I smoked... hehe.. no, i'm never going back there again. Yick. That is all I can say. Yick

love love love love

I, Emma Jane Oakden, hereby declare I am madly in love with Gabrielle Jayda-Lee Oakden.

Hehe... I'm not sure whats going on with me, but I'm so happy lately, and nothing really seems to phase me, if that makes sense at all? Everything seems so bright & shiny & happy - even the bad stuff, i'm finding a silver lining!

Gaby is being such a perfect baby these days too - she barely cries now, except when she is hungry/tired/sore! I don't think I could have been blessed with a better baby! She is such a guzzle guts at the moment, she's drunk all her bottles today, so approx 200-220ml - and so far today she's had three. I think yesterday she only had 4! Maybe she is having a growth spurt?

We went swimming today with Serena & Josh, and Gaby had a lot of fun! She has started splashing in the water now, which is very cute! I am excited about starting swimming lessons with her in about a months time. Serena & Josh are going with us, so we'll at least know someone else in the class, and it won't be as daunting! I think once she is 12-18 months I will also try and get her into one of the gymnastics classes they have for toddlers - it can only be a good thing for her!

the magic rolling baby

*claps*

My baby girl rolled over today for the first time! After waiting for weeks for her to roll back->tummy, today she totally out of the blue, rolled tummy->back!!!! I couldn't believe it when she did it, infact I didn't realise she'd rolled over for about 10 seconds after she'd done it! So I rolled her back to her tummy to see what she'd do - and what do you know? She rolled over, again - and again - and again - and again! Naturally once the video camera came out she ceased all activity. LOL

It made me realise she is growing up so quickly!!!! It was a major milestone the first time she touched a toy on her rocker - and now she's rolling, and trying to move around the floor. It's all happening too fast - I'm glad I have my camera, to take photos & savour every moment!

It was made especially clear to me today, how fast they grow - Mel gave birth to the beautiful LITTLE Ryan Patrick Thomas @ 7.18am today, so I went up and saw her around 9.45.... he was so little compared to Gaby, and it amazed me to think that Gaby had once been that little, that not so long ago she was the helpless little bub, cuddled up in Mum's arms, doing nothing but eating & sleeping & crying. Having trouble focusing on faces, and being overwhelmed by the big, new world..... And now.. now she's out there ready to take over the world! Only 20 weeks later!

I am so blissfully in love with Gaby right now, I can't imagine life getting ANY better....

so, so lost

Gaby is out with Aunty Terri & Uncle Gavin - has been for about 4 hours! I am soooooo lost! It's weird not having my little Gaby Guts here!!!!!!!!! It's eerily quiet! I miss her a lot

I hope she's back soon! How bad am I going to be when she starts going to stay with her Dad for the night?? Or anyone for that matter!

sleep? whats that?

Gaby has decided that it's just not cool to sleep at night!!!!!!! It's starting to get a bit old! That said, she is sleeping really well during the day, so I guess there is an upside to it all! We had Plunket today & Gaby now weighs 16lb13oz & is 66cm long! She has grown 4cm in 6 weeks!!!!! Her 5 month appointment was actually at 4 1/2 months, so when we go to get her 5 month injections at the doctor, I'll get her weighed again! She's growing tooooo fast!

sleep huh?

While Ms Gabalicious is still sleeping like a princess at night, during the day.... gosh, it takes her about an hour to get to sleep, and then she's usually awake within an hour!!!!!! I don't know whats gotten into her, because last week, I could put her to bed & she'd be asleep 1 minute later! That said though, she wasn't sleeping that fabulously at night... so I guess it's best if she doesn't sleep well during the day!

I'm hoping that the cooler winter nights are going to mean that she sleeps RIGHT through..

hehe, I can dream huh

growing too fast

My little precious is growing way too fast! The past couple of days, she has suddenly started looking less like a baby, and more like a child. Her facial expressions have changed, her 'voice' has changed... almost everything about my little McPrecious has changed! It is alarming! But also wonderful, being able to watch it happen right in front of me. I am really interested to find out how long she is now, I am sure she's grown a matter of cm's in the past few days!!!!!

It is spooky when I think back to how little she was when she was born (admittedly she wasn't tiny) - and how much she has grown in the space of 4 1/2 months!!!! I am sure that it isn't going to be long until the first little tooth pops through - she's been teething so badly the past couple of weeks, it really has to happen soon!!!!

I can't get over how much I love Gaby. I never imagined it'd be like this, never ever. Nothing else in the world really matters, as long as I have my little McPrecious with me. I can be as depressed as hell, and see that gorgeous little smile, and all of a sudden the sadness goes away. I can be angry and ready to kill someone (haha Stu!), but one glimpse of that cheeky smile, and my heart melts & I forget what I was angry about to begin with.

I don't even like to imagine what life would be like if I didn't have Gaby. Life would be meaningless.... it really would...

spoilt baby girl

I got my course related costs y/day, and as usual, didn't spend them on course related costs! LOL

Me & Gaby went shopping & I bought her about $200 worth of new clothes!!! I probably shouldn't have, but I just couldn't resist. It makes me feel better when I buy cute stuff for her! Maybe i'm trying to over-compensate for Stu as well, even though Gaby is wayyyyyy to young to realise that she has all these new clothes. top!

Aunty Terri also spoilt her after work, buying her a new pair of shoes, a belt & a new t-shirt that says "I love my Uncle"..

... which kind of brings me to my next point....

It's occurred to me over the past couple of days, that Gaby has more to do with her Uncle Gavin - than she has to do with her own father. I hate saying it, but Gaby is a LOT more comfortable around Gavin, than she is around Stu - and it hurts. When we were at the mall y/day, Gavin joined us, and he immediately got Gaby out of the pram & had a big cuddle. Gaby was totally laxed out on him - and she has NEVER done that with Stu.

I don't want the father figure in Gaby's life to be her UNCLE.... but it's looking more and more each day, that that is going to be the way it is. Stu isn't stepping up to the plate - he's not enquired after her since Sunday - that's 5 days today. Another 2 days & it'll be a week since he's seen her. I really thought that even if he didn't give a fuck about me, he would at least want to know how his DAUGHTER is doing. He acted like bloody father of the year on Sunday, when we were around his family, so I guess they think he's the perfect father now.

The perfect father my ass.
He has never changed a nappy.
He has bought about 4 tins of formula.
He has gotten up to her once during the night.
He has never spent a WHOLE day with her.

How am I meant to be Mummy & Daddy for her? How am I meant to give her the nice balanced life she deserves???

changing everyday

It really is amazing, I always heard people saying that baby's grow up so fast, that each day they are doing something new... I just thought that was Mama's exaggerating about how clever their baby's were....

but no!!! It REALLY is true!

If I look back over the last month, Gaby is developing new 'tricks' everyday, and starting to put them together. Yesterday I had her lying on her play gym that Nan & Poppa got her for Christmas, and I had here ladybug pram toy attatched to it - and rather than just hitting it like she would have done last week (even 2 days ago), she PULLED on it, so she could get it in her mouth!

I could just spend this whole time doating on my little girl! She sat up by herself last night - not for a long time, and she was still a bit wobbly - but she did it without anyone holding onto her! I was so proud of her, I almost cried! We are still waiting for the big moment when she roll's for the first time, but I know it'll happen soon.

A couple of weeks ago if I lay her on her belly, she would have looked around and such, but stayed still, NOW she swivels on her tummy, and is starting to get on her knees & putting her cute little bottom in the air, which I believe is something they need to master before they can start crawling.

Growing is another thing that seems to happen in the blink of an eye. One night I put Gaby to bed, wearing 000 clothes - the next morning she fit into 00 clothes! It happens so fast. She is getting very long, I have a feeling she might be quite tall when she grows up, taking after her Daddy. I really noticed the size change, when I looked at photos of her in her first big girl bath, and then photos of her in the bath a couple of nights ago - the comparison is just AMAZING

no contact for two days

Well, I think it's started. Stu's "I want to be a good Dad" attitude seems to be wavering. We saw him on Sunday morning for a couple of hours, because we had to go for lunch at his sisters, with his family. He said barely two words to me the whole time (and vice versa) - and I've not heard from him since!!! It's now Wednesday 8.31am - and I have decided FUCK HIM, I'm not going to be the one always making the effort, to get him to come and see Gaby. I'm going to leave it, and see just how long it takes him to arrange to come over.

I'm glad Gaby isn't old enough yet to realise that her Dad isn't seeing her a lot - BUT at the same point, I know she's at the age where she is going to form bonds with people, and if Stu doesn't start seeing her more often, she is going to have a closer bond with her Uncle Gavin, than with her own father! He complains that she looks at him like he's a 'freak', yet looks at me with 'love in her eyes' - gee, could that be because I spend all my time with her, whereas he can barely take an hour out of his week to see his daughter?

At least, I guess, Gaby is getting tonnes of extra love from her Nan, Poppa & Aunty Terri & Uncle Gavin... I read somewhere that the first 7 years of a childs life, set them up for the rest of their life. I think so far Gaby is gearing up for a good life. A baby has never been more loved or cherished.

Terri & Gavin are trying for a baby! I'm so excited, I can't wait for Gaby to have a little cousin to play with, and to have a special bond with! I hope it happens easily for them, because Terri has been through too much heartache in the past 4 years, plus, they are both going to be great parents! Terri was a fabulous Mama to Brodie, and Gavin is a great Dad to Tyler, so their bub is going to be very lucky.

It will be fun having another pregnancy to share!