1 year

February 7th was 1 year since I found out that I was pregnant with Gaby. I am in disbelief at how different my life is now - and how much I have been through over the past year! This time last year, I was in the throes of morning sickness, and was still coming to terms with the fact I *really* was pregnant!!!!

... I've been pregnant, I've given birth, I've breastfed, I've changed nappies, I've cleaned up spew, I've made parenting style choices....... I've changed 100% from who I was a little over a year ago. The things that used to be wonderful to me, have been replaced by things that are even more wonderful. The little things that used to bother me no longer do.......... and I've become a lot less selfish, Gaby really is the basis of my life, everything I choose to do, revolves around her!

How does the reality of motherhood, compare to the fantasy of motherhood that I once had? It's even better! I always knew it would be hard, but it would be rewarding - I just didn't realise HOW rewarding it would be. I could never imagine the feeling I would get, when going to get Gaby from the cot in the morning, and seeing her grin because she's happy to see me. I could never imagine the feeling I would get, when Gaby was unsettled, and after passing her around, I would be the only one who could get her to finally settle. I never imagined how beautiful a sleeping baby would be - the pure innocence, the angelic look.

I knew that I would love Gaby (or any child I had) - but I didn't realise that that love would be overwhelming & all consuming. I didn't know that that love would give me the power to do anything - or that it would make me want to do ANYTHING to protect my baby girl. I didn't realise just how happy love could make me feel, or that it would make even the shittiest of days, amazing.

It is truly amazing, being able to watch Gaby develop day by day. Seeing her do things one day, that she couldn't do the day beforehand. I never realised how exciting it would be when Gaby would reach another developmental milestone, or how proud of her I would feel!!!!!!

I love being a Mummy, I love my precious Gaby - I am so glad that life has panned out the way that it has, and for the first time in my life, I can see that everything that has happened up until now, has happened for a reason - and had they not happened, Gaby would not have happened.